Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize