Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Your penis caused this!
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