1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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