hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
