Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
