His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize