I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
