I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
