It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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