If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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