I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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