Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize