it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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