remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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