Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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