So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
