never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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