I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I am spending my child support on dildos
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
