You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
