I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize