Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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