you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
