The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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