i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
okay pat passed out under dana's car
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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