He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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