WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize