What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Randomize
