I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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