I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
