You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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