So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
