I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Text me some of your sweat
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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