Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
