cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
