She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
