Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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