tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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