Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize