all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize