He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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