it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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