She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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