She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
