did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
