I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
