That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
