and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
