I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Someone shit on the floor
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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