please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize