I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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