gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
