i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You may now shotgun with the bride
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
