To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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