Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
