Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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