do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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