im about as happy as oj after his trial
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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