Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize