Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
