Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I woke up under a house in Key West
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
