Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
