i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
