whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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