there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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