I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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