people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
