My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
